


Distant Memories

by Shock_Value



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Au of sorts, Dissociation, Established Relationship, Karl just suffers from trauma, M/M, Neon Genesis Evangelion - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Trauma, its not explicitly said but they are married, sapnap comes home and helps out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:22:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28766268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shock_Value/pseuds/Shock_Value
Summary: Karl has a panic attack after people from a region suffering from an attack flee to his city, Sapnap comes home and helps out a little.Writing Practice and a birthday present to myself.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 1
Kudos: 67





	Distant Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something short. Should have been sweet but it's not really.

_ Pinched cuffs on ugly sweaters… _

Karl sighs. The humming was getting louder. He'd have a headache if he weren't so distracted, he guessed, stress and anxiety hanging off his bones.

_ Marmalade and lemon drops… _

The cars had long since come into the city and the new people have started mourning the old place they called home and what could have been if they weren't here and living now.

The lights that had once run in through his blinds and kissed his white walls left him to sit in the darkness, knees tucked up and trying to vent through poetry on a notes app. He drummed his feet against the floor to the humming and subtle but all too loud drumming of his heart.

His fingers shook against his phone keyboard.

_ Shackles of restrictions made out of lace… _

Karl wasn't sure if he liked that line. Something about it didn't quite fit.

The whole poem felt all too warm to actually exist at all. Everything should have been a cool encompass of blues and oranges.

Karl's lights turn on, the panic from before making him feel floaty, slowly going between dim and bright, in tune with the pulsing in his mind. 

A car alarm goes off outside, Karl wished Sapnap would get home soon. Karl needed him safe and with him.

The lightbulb pops and Karl ducks his head in his arms, shakily closing his note app and turning it off, holding it in his limp hand.

His breathing feels a little tight, trying for deep breaths, he heaves and coughs a little, choking up. He didn't need to be quiet but there was something about making any noise that made him die a little. Maybe it was the understanding that the demise of a whole city was coming around.

It feels as if the tremors sent through the earth were waiting for him at his doorstep. Like they had before.

Karl squeezes his eyelids closed in an attempt to find comfort as thick air tossed around him and blanketed him in his own fear.

His phone buzzes and he lets it go, it clatters to the floor and although only from a few inches, his plastic case cracks and pieces are sent across the floor. The buzzes rattle and cause Karl to pick it back up and hide it in his lap, not thinking far enough to just turn it to silent or dismiss the call he was getting. His hands felt heavy full.

He sat and cried for several minutes, the distant sound of emergency sirens and crashing buildings playing in his mind. His limbs lost from him.

Something gently bumps into his arm, Karl tenses and stuck between the want to keep his face hidden and the need to turn to see what just happened, he strains his neck, tweaking it slightly.

He doesn't know why he tried, he couldn't see much anyway.

He can just barely make out a hand, strong yet soft, shining with water and a ring wrapped around a finger. Karl couldn't recognize who it was but in an attempt to ground himself, he finds his arms so he can grab onto the fingers.

They were cold. Karl liked that. They gently squeezed his hands in a way that felt a lot like home.

It took several minutes of hiccuping and missteps to try and get the air to stop feeling like water in his lungs and for Karl to properly make out that Sapnap had helped him.

"Karl?" The world was in blues and oranges and Sapnap felt warm but in a right way. "Are you okay?"

Karl scoffs a little and with a little bit of hope whispers, "Honk no."

Sapnap smiles a little, concern still obvious. He holds his arms out a little, as a way to offer a hug and Karl holds up a finger as if to say "one moment" and breathes for a few moments. Karl eventually moves to hug Sapnap and bury himself in the hoodie fabric. He imagined how it might smell, he wished he could tell.

Closer to relaxing, Karl is taken by quiet sobs and Sapnap holds him tight and rubs his back.

"It's okay, we're home and safe and nothings going to happen."

Karl laughs humorlessly, "I feel like we're back there and I never got out."

"I know. We aren't, though, we're far away. Back there there were no hardwood floors or hugging you." Sapnap's hands play with the hem of Karl's sweatshirt and he softly kisses the top of his head.

Karl hums, "I'm tired."

Sapnap smiles, "Let's get to bed then."


End file.
